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Murphy's laws

The original Murphy's laws


  • Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
  • If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
  • Corollary: If there is a worst time for something to go wrong, it will happen then. If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
  • If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
  • Mother nature is a b***h.
  • The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.
  • When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that the two cars are going in opposite directions, and they will always meet at the bridge.
  • Things get worse under pressure.
  • Smile … tomorrow will be worse.
  • Everything goes wrong all at once.
  • Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
  • Enough research will tend to support your theory.
  • In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right … something is wrong.
  • It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
  • Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
  • When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer. Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
  • Nothing is as easy as it looks.
  • Everything takes longer than you think.
  • Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
  • Every solution breeds new problems.
  • You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
  • No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
  • The other line always moves faster.
  • In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
  • Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
  • If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
  • If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
  • When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
  • Corollary: If you are sick, and you go to a doctor, you will feel better the moment you arrive, and worse the moment you leave.
  • Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
  • Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.
  • In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
  • There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
  • When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
  • Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
  • Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
  • A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
  • In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
  • Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
  • No good deed goes unpunished.
  • The porter will knock at the door at the most crucial point of the lesson.
  • Where patience fails, force prevails.
  • For any given software, the moment you manage to master it, a new version of that software appears on the market.
  • Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.
  • The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you, the worse you know when this will happen, and vice-versa.
  • Regardless of your frame of reference, things will go wrong anyway.
  • The distance to your departure gate is directly proportional to the weight of your carry on luggage and inversely proportional to the time remaining before your flight.
  • If you want something badly enough, chances are you won't get it.
  • If you think you are doing the right thing, chances are it will back-fire in your face.
  • When waiting for traffic, chances are that when one lane clears the other is congested.
  • Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will.
  • Remember the "Boomerang" effect: whatever you do will always come back.
  • If you re-act to actions, you've acted on actions.
  • He who angers you controls you, therefore you have no control over your anger.
  • Any time you put an item in a "safe place", it will never be seen again.
  • Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.
  • The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.
  • No matter how hard you try, you cannot push a string.
  • The fish are always biting … yesterday!
  • The cost of the hairdo is directly related to the strength of the wind.
  • Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statements are never forgotten.
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